xylodemon: (Default)
Title: From the Desk of James F. Potter
Characters: James, Sirius
Rating: PG
Words: ~650
A/N: Completely and utterly the fault of [personal profile] florahart, who who wanted fic of this persuasion.

This story was remixed by [personal profile] lindsey_grrl for [personal profile] remix_redux 2007.

In lieu of substance, I've included a rather large image. Did I mention it's large? If you have dial-up, be prepared to go make a cup of tea while it loads.

the resume of one james f. potter (currently a broom salesman), with commentary and helpful suggestions from one sirius black (part-time loafer and full-time knob), and no, i'm not telling you what the f stands for )
xylodemon: (Default)
Title: False Imprisonment
Pairing: Remus/Sirius, Remus/Stan, implied Remus/Tonks
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: This is borderline crackfic. Also, there is Stan.
Summary: In which Remus has an incurable fetish for Azkaban prisoners.
A/N: For [profile] sioniann, because she hates Stan, and because she should know better than to encourage me. Unbetaed like an unbetaed thing, plus mild spoilers for HBP.

false imprisonment )
xylodemon: (Default)
Title: Like a Phoenix From the Ashes
Pairing: Sirius/James, sort of. Harry/Draco and Remus/Tonks implied.
Rating: NC-17
Words: 2,427.
Warnings: Complete and utter disrespect for the dead. Frottage with an urn. Kind of Mpreg, but not really. More like spontaneous spawnage. Dangerous fucking muse. Look, I need help.
A/N: Crackfic. Wholly the fault of [livejournal.com profile] alittlewhisper, who said 'Sirius/James necro mpreg Mary Sue' like I wasn't going to do something about it. Also enabled by a cavalcade of people who shall remain nameless purely to conserve space. You know who you are. Unbetaed. [livejournal.com profile] thysanotus gave it a once-over, but she was too busy rocking in the corner to point anything out.

It's not really necro. I mean it. There isn't even a corpse.

Like a Phoenix From the Ashes )

*flees*
xylodemon: (Default)
Title: Hogwarts Gone Wild
Pairing: James. Sirius. Remus. Peter. Wanking.
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~ 6,000
Summary: Four Case Studies on the Masturbatory Habits of Gryffindors
Warnings: Frottage with unsuspecting inanimate objects, specifically brooms, motorbikes, books, and a gentlemen's quarterly.
A/N: I have told you lot not to encourage me. And many of you did. I don't need to name names. You know who you are.

All apologies to [livejournal.com profile] chuffing. I simply could not work in the wheel of government cheese.

toucha toucha toucha touch me )
xylodemon: (Default)
Title: Nightmare on Grimmauld Place
Pairing: Harry/Mrs. Black, Sirius/Cornelius Fudge, Remus/Stan Shunpike,
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Portrait frottage. Bowler hats. Spotty bus conductors.
A/N: This crackfic is brought to you by the Nightmare Pairing Meme, because [personal profile] amanuensis1's was too funny, [personal profile] happiestwhen's was too easy and mine was just plain wrong. Unbetaed. Feel free to point and laugh. Or run screaming.

nightmare on grimmauld place )

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