xylodemon: (Default)
Title: Since 382 BC
Characters: Garrick Ollivander, various
Rating: PG
Words: ~5,400
Summary: A sampling of wands both famous and ordinary, as remembered by a man who has not forgotten a single one.
Notes: I found this in my drafts and realized I'd forgotten about it. I started it right before Deathly Hallows, shelved it in case it got jossed, and then... yeah. 2007 was a long time ago; this probably isn't Pottermore compliant.


[AO3]


since 382 bc )

hp fic: Changeling

Monday, July 11th, 2005 10:49 pm
xylodemon: (Default)
Title: Changeling
Pairing: Hermione/Seamus, only not. Also, Tonks and Cho are involved.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Angst. Polyjuice.
Summary: You can't replace what you've lost.
A/N: For [personal profile] florahart's Polyjuice Brothel Challenge that I actually inspired with my big mouth. Thanks to [personal profile] thysanotus for the once-over.

changeling )
xylodemon: (Default)
Title: Like a Phoenix From the Ashes
Pairing: Sirius/James, sort of. Harry/Draco and Remus/Tonks implied.
Rating: NC-17
Words: 2,427.
Warnings: Complete and utter disrespect for the dead. Frottage with an urn. Kind of Mpreg, but not really. More like spontaneous spawnage. Dangerous fucking muse. Look, I need help.
A/N: Crackfic. Wholly the fault of [livejournal.com profile] alittlewhisper, who said 'Sirius/James necro mpreg Mary Sue' like I wasn't going to do something about it. Also enabled by a cavalcade of people who shall remain nameless purely to conserve space. You know who you are. Unbetaed. [livejournal.com profile] thysanotus gave it a once-over, but she was too busy rocking in the corner to point anything out.

It's not really necro. I mean it. There isn't even a corpse.

Like a Phoenix From the Ashes )

*flees*
xylodemon: (Default)
Title: Hogwarts Gone Wild
Pairing: James. Sirius. Remus. Peter. Wanking.
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~ 6,000
Summary: Four Case Studies on the Masturbatory Habits of Gryffindors
Warnings: Frottage with unsuspecting inanimate objects, specifically brooms, motorbikes, books, and a gentlemen's quarterly.
A/N: I have told you lot not to encourage me. And many of you did. I don't need to name names. You know who you are.

All apologies to [livejournal.com profile] chuffing. I simply could not work in the wheel of government cheese.

toucha toucha toucha touch me )
xylodemon: (Default)
Title: Nightmare on Grimmauld Place
Pairing: Harry/Mrs. Black, Sirius/Cornelius Fudge, Remus/Stan Shunpike,
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Portrait frottage. Bowler hats. Spotty bus conductors.
A/N: This crackfic is brought to you by the Nightmare Pairing Meme, because [personal profile] amanuensis1's was too funny, [personal profile] happiestwhen's was too easy and mine was just plain wrong. Unbetaed. Feel free to point and laugh. Or run screaming.

nightmare on grimmauld place )

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